This is where my years in hospitality unexpectedly come into the picture.

I have spent much of my life in hospitality, and one of the ideas that changed the way I thought about that business came from Will Guidara and the concept of Unreasonable Hospitality.

A restaurant already has a building.

It has a kitchen.

It has a menu.

It has food.

But sometimes the difference between ordinary and extraordinary comes from simply looking at the experience differently.

A hot dog, given at exactly the right moment, can mean more than an expensive meal because somebody paid attention to the person rather than simply following the menu.

That idea stayed with me.

What Do They Really Need?

I have spent years asking guests questions.

What do they need?

What are they not telling us?

What would make this experience better?

How can we make them feel welcome?

How can we create a WOW Factor?

How can we listen to learn instead of simply reacting?

How can we stop treating every person the same and instead understand the person standing in front of us?

Those are pretty good questions in hospitality.

But eventually, I started wondering why we don’t ask those same questions about ourselves.

Turn the Question Around

What if we did the same thing with our own lives?

What if we practiced Unreasonable Lifestyle?

What if we treated ourselves with the same curiosity, attention, generosity and care that we try to give our guests?

What if, instead of constantly telling ourselves what we should be doing, we actually stopped and asked what we need?

And here’s the question I keep coming back to:

What if we welcomed ourselves home?

Your Body Is Not a One-Size-Fits-All Menu

Unreasonable Lifestyle doesn’t mean some complicated wellness program.

It doesn’t mean a perfect diet.

A perfect body.

A perfect morning routine.

Or a perfect life.

It means becoming interested in the human being we have been given to take care of.

And that human being is going to be different for every one of us.

We are not all given the same body.

Some people are born with one hand. Some are born with Down syndrome. Some are neurodivergent. Some live with illness or disability. Some bodies will become sick despite everything we do.

There is no reason to make someone’s worth dependent upon whether their body matches somebody else’s definition of perfect.

We are given the body we have.

Our responsibility is to learn how to care for it, understand it, respect it and live as fully as we can inside it.

Maybe It’s Time to Question the Menu

That also means questioning some of the things we have simply accepted as “the way things are.”

Who decided what success looks like?

Who decided how a body should look?

Who decided how much we should work?

Who decided that being busy means being productive?

Who decided that we have to wait until we are healthier, wealthier, younger, thinner, stronger or more successful before we are allowed to enjoy our lives?

Maybe some of those answers make sense.

Maybe some don’t.

But shouldn’t we at least ask the questions?

I’ve spent enough time thinking about those questions to realize something:

Life is happening right now.

Not when you lose the weight.

Not when you get the promotion.

Not when you finally get everything figured out.

Right now.

Create Your Own WOW Factor

In hospitality, creating a WOW Factor doesn’t always require something huge.

Sometimes it’s simply noticing.

Listening.

Remembering.

Being present enough to recognize what would make that particular moment better for that particular person.

Maybe taking care of ourselves isn’t so different.

Maybe today’s WOW Factor is getting outside.

Maybe it’s moving your body.

Maybe it’s cooking something that makes you feel good.

Maybe it’s putting down the phone.

Maybe it’s saying no.

Maybe it’s saying yes.

Maybe it’s sitting quietly for five minutes and doing absolutely nothing.

And maybe tomorrow it’s something completely different.

That’s the point.

Pay attention to the person standing in front of you.

Even when that person is you.

Be a Little Unreasonable

Maybe Unreasonable Lifestyle means being unreasonable enough to question what we’ve been told.

Unreasonable enough to listen to our bodies.

Unreasonable enough to protect our peace.

Unreasonable enough to say no when no is the honest answer.

Unreasonable enough to stop waiting for the perfect time.

Unreasonable enough to believe that our lives are worth experiencing now.

Unreasonable enough to take care of ourselves with the same attention we give everyone else.

And unreasonable enough to slow down long enough to hear our own hearts.

Maybe that’s not unreasonable at all.

Maybe we’ve simply gotten so used to doing things the other way that taking care of ourselves feels radical.

So here’s a question worth sitting with:

If you treated yourself like the most important guest you’ve ever welcomed, what would you do differently today?

Maybe it’s time to find out.

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The Perfect Moment Cannot Be Captured